Do you need to Get YOUR Tears OUT?

When Nani gets upset or something is bothering her. I say, “Do you need to get your tears OUT?” If her

answer is yes, she will immediately start crying. Then, that is my cue to be her “soft place to fall” and to 

comfort her through her pain. Within five minutes, she usually feels much better and is ready to continue taking on the rest of her day.

It took me a while to realize that most of US, are never taught NOR given permission to grieve over OUR pain! As kids, WE are almost always taught that WE need to “shake it off” to show WE are strong. In the process, WE become disconnected from OURSELVES and OUR emotions!

It wasn’t until I had a supersensitive child, that I realized I had been “incorrectly” programmed. My whole life (until a couple of years ago) was spent showing that I was “strong” and that I didn’t need to get “emotional” over silly things (pretty much everything was classified as “silly”). Unfortunately, I didn’t realize how much I was being damaged in the process… When you don’t allow yourself to “feel”, you become detached from reality (the reality of how you really feel about “things”). Trust me when I say, I’m not exaggerating! This is exactly what happens.

Teaching OUR children to follow in OUR “strong” footsteps, not only hinders their growth and development. But it also makes them more prone to use drugs, alcohol, or other harmful coping mechanisms (to offset the fact that they aren’t dealing with their emotions). OUR emotional health is NOT to be taken lightly! It is what drives every other aspect of OUR lives (mental, physical and emotional). The state of OUR emotional health is what keeps US on the straight and narrow. Or what pushes US off of the deep end!

As a parent, I am able to justify making the time and effort to make sure my child is “wired” correctly. In others words, I am willing to do everything in my power to make sure that she is emotionally healthy! Even though (previously), I didn’t think I deserved the same for myself. It’s funny how you can start doing something selflessly for someone else and then you end up helping yourself in the process. Now I read lots of self help books, I journal (to help me acknowledge my feelings and to help me process them in a healthy manner), and I have also made a commitment to strive to be emotionally healthy everyday!

Don’t get me wrong, this is a constant daily struggle! However, practice definitely makes perfect. Even though sometimes I feel like a psychopath (because this is all new to me and dealing with your feelings ALL the time can be emotionally and mentally draining)! I am still committed to leading by example. ;)

I’m still adjusting to asking myself “Do I need to get my tears out?” However, it feels great to be more connected to myself, my feelings and my emotions. Most of all, it feels fantastic to know, that my daughter will grow up knowing she is “strong” enough to deal with her emotions (because it will be all she knows). Instead of growing up thinking that she needs to keep her emotions hidden from herself and the world! That in itself, makes IT alllllllllllllllll worth it…